touchy

“It’s okay not to be okay”

 

There are so many memories and situations that makes us who we are today , that got us to this point where we can’t control our anxiety, sadness and depressions. It is disturbing to feel completely alone , like there is no one there to listen to you, hug you, care for you even when you[‘re actually surrounded by a great family that nurtured you through your toughest times for 3 years , I still find myself in tears at night, “do they really know who I am ? would they still love me if they did ?” I feel so much of my true self hidden because of the things that cause this sadness within me. Some people talk to therapists , some call free hotlines, online communities, I talk to God, He knows about my worries more than anyone , above all, he knows me best, better than myself. I talk to God and gives me peace of mind, the power to go on.

 

I had aperiod full of self-doubt, I felt imperfect, I’ve always been the good quiet girl , because I actually was and deep within I am quiet and attentive to other people’s needs even when I am at my worst, it helps me forget my own anxiety, it dissolves to something better. I have changed, grown into a wise woman that trusts her guts and in one point committed so many mistakes and they rarely all surface all at once but when they do , I push them all away, I have finally learned to make peace with myself. I feel as if though I’ve been cleansed these past three years , especially that one year. I was so physically ill, I craved food so bad but I couldn’t digest a thing, everything would come out from my mouth covered in acids, my whole body was suffering from all the hate and sadness I injected in myself. It’s a miracle I have my health back, I cleansed my anger, the big sadness that was wrapping my heart. Ofcourse I still feel blue now and then but not the kind that leaves me heartbroken. Slowly the idea of GIRL started forming from a future photography project that I wanted to focus on as soon as I got better but all the notes I have written , researches I have read , I suddenly asked myself , why not turn this to a magazine? A community of girls stared forming, getting articles that moved me to tears and when i feel angry , I express t through the perfect post , the words that are heard and that feels satisfying, to be heard without being judged. 

 

How to get rid of the pain : 

every morning write 2 papersof every emotion you feel, either right after breakfast or even before. It can honesty be anything from the little things that annoy you down to the biggest heartbreak , trust me it helped me so much, I’d think ofsomething bad andI tell myself “No I wrote that down , I need to focus on what I am doing.” . With time it helped me put away all the worries of the past and if you’re worried about someone reading these thoughts then just download the “The squarespace note app” , write your thoughts, email it to yourself with one touch or simply delete everything , it clears your mind. With this habit you create a feeling of control over the sadness and thoughts. 

 

Creation. Through creating and engaging your imagination that often triggers your anxiety you become responsible for the birth of new work that reflects your state of mind, you feel pride and that inflicts thoughts of happiness that can be the cure to a healthier life style. The key to a good life rains in a few things but to DREAM is on top of the list, without dreaming , hope is impossible. 

 

Important tip: don’t start your day with social media and emails , take the time to write the two pages or the best cure , music. Create a playlist, dance in your panties , feel good about life.

Learn how to cook , as the smells and joy of gatherings , loved ones can really help you with feeling less lonely. Food brings people together. 

Tips for good health to kep you away from anemia or to regain good blood cells, more energy, glowing skin, illuminates back pain.

CQ10 vitamins or 4 to 5 times of pomegranate fresh juice. 

 raw salmon/sushi 4 times a week or an easy to make fish of your choice , lightly cooked with herbs, spices, fresh tomato and butter, along with 2 cups of spinach salad(e.v.o.o, rock salt , sprig onion, lemon juice to taste)

Most importantly , give yourself the time to rest , it is very important to never pressure yourself. Learn to rest when your body asks you for it.