naked city

 Jamaalstevens-photographer

CITY SLICKIN' SINNERS

Hell - "Stop! Just stop talking Jamaal" I faltered, a deepsorrowful howl grew in the pits of me, but I dissolved instead, my eyes dripped diluted constellations,for my cries were incapacitated in the Kingdom of his screams. He was a God to me, and he slammed his immortal weight down hard against my ephemeral carcass. The ground relented beneath my feeble feet,surrender-ing too and offering to swallow me hole and hide me from this ungodly horror. My jaded eyes - windows to the world, looked out upon the many cold, alien faces, eyeballing the damsel in distress, yours truly behindthe looking glass, with their eagle eyed intrusiveness. I made a swift, silent exit from the boarding line to the door,bleeding blue wretchedness all over the sterile floor. He continued, I drowned out his full mouthed dribble with a final threat to flee- to take flight and leave a second plane ticket void for the second time that hell-sent evening. He fi-nally submitted to my ignited wails, he sensed the faultless rendition of his pickings, and the finality of his next words, which would cement our unseeable, ghostly fait. I reunited the 
extraterrestrial line of luggage and lurking judgement. My bloodied heart suspended by a drooping intestinal ribbon, dripping glistening infrared beads, which slip and seep onto the lives of the pristine, and their accompanying aesthetically synchronized carry on paraphernalia. 

"Any famous last words, if my plane were to explode into a 
million pieces in the sky?"

I toyed, as I always undoubtedly cast my needynet out and fish, for some kind of utopian confirmation that monogamous testimony,born into this world hopeless, alone and screaming, and we all will leave this world equitably hopeless, alone and screaming, our only tangible evolution is that we upgraded in size, function and appearance. 
 


"Get here, please- just get here Sasha" he spoke. He tried to end our call many a time, in sync with the sense I was 
getting that his lid was growing wings, he needed to go, to make me come and I did, as I always do, for the last time, as I always say. I was assigned to share my blubbering reflective journey with a foreign pair of smitten kittens who spoke no English, but permeated in denial, unsubtle displays of their undying infatuation, and harmonious intoxication, for one another-Quintessentially distilling me to mourn, not for the affectionate warm tuneful bond in front of me, but for my own burning symphonic savage garden, and the resonating rhythm of skin against skin, soul scraping against soul,sinful silvery unison with my savior, who will lie me on a bed of roses to bleed and lovingly bestow himself on a bed of piercing nails, to drip dryness into the stale air, which hung like the smell of sex and clung like cum on skin when wet. I was a star struck prophet in the secret garden,bowingto the beat of hisdrum, he strummed my golden soul 
strings,with his bleeding fingers and plucked me from the sky,Seraphof the Spiral galaxy. He desired me and saw me bathed in rose, with his naked piercing eyes.To him, I was Cynthia, saintly lovechild of the Gods, and so he snatched me from my cradled scallop throne, and tossed me into a voodoo drum, to roll in the sea, shivering beneath the licking flames of mortality, in a man made mock iron-womb.He showed me no mercy as he slit open the clouds and unveiled a monsoon of the mutilated manhood of sinners. I was condemned to drown pure, as my lungs hummed and bubbled his saliva as he spat into my sea,and despisingly forsaked their duty and/and gulped the poison waters as I gasped for air. Or rather I would rise grasping the smoking gun of erotic awakening.I swam lustfully through the sea of decapitated instruments of love, for what seemed like an Eternal Summer, and begged at the rising of each 
 
moon to join the bleeding knees club, to scrape sinfully on all fours, and worship the devil worshipper himself, who seized my purity for his patented pleasure The sun melted my artless infant flesh and scoured the meat from my trembling bones, as Irose with it the very next morning, carving unforgiving, sinful curves into my skin, so that man and then child would have pillowing bosom to nestle and engulf mother milk from, as I had once done. A slippery flame snaked down my center and pooled consciousness to my blossoming forbidden fruit below and between. I stood suddenly blooming and then a hellish scream came from within me and cascaded over the ocean as a single sword struck the fruit between my loins, as cherry-like blood slipped down my thighs, and plummeted down into the sea. Then he rose, illuminated by the leo electric glow of his ruptured heaven sent soul. I held the shining Satanist dagger and thrust it into my open mouthed virgin-wail, to smolder my girlish cries and dangle the double edged sword at the cusp of my throat, to show the son of Satan and the Sun, that pain was pathologically paved to pleasure tunnels, within me and within you. My head adorned with Johnson's crown, a lathered hard shaft bouquet,whichsplintered my forehead with wood, which effortlessly drilled tiny deathly hollows into my skull, so that chimera blood, glitter balloons, seeped like sap from my pipe dream brain, branching blistered plasma bindii beads, in drizzling clots, and finger painted blood patterns across my face.
Two mangled corpses washed up onto a bed of a thousand heartbroken sea shells, clinging to each other's chicken flesh, away from the roaring see of butchered body parts. I fumbled through the wreath of our frigidly numb limbs and swathed the matted 
curled threads from my face, as I felt the continence of his pressed thumb against my shivering lilac lip. I looked up upon the rapturous collision of his bones which, met as if lovers for a brief affair, on their opposing paths, but fait sealed their ends to another's beginning, to glide eternally upon an angel winged brush, along the bottom of his god forsaken face, which sloped like an avalanche, into my saliferace squinty-eyed vision. The birth of royal aquamarine waves crashed behind him, in my panorama view, as sea and sand poured euphoric erotica onto the shore beneath two bodies. A thousand splendid suns shone from within his iris', and resonated rippling, rapturous, ringlets, in the sea beads of his eyes. Black holes pierced the saintly spheric fountains of life, to remind all those who found themselves lustfully lost in his crystal clear,sublimely bewitching naturisms , to fear the dark depths which we encircle- prophetic oracles we will always neglect in the face of sacred, sexual sanctity. 
Alas my heart swooned, and drowned my soul in tow, as it swam towards his statuesque form, which rose at the edge of his saintly unforgiving sea. Our eyes, mine once two inky rayless theoretical masses, were now ignited and burnt from the center and blazed all that was once dull, to an amber crisp, wildfires, set alight in the night. I would light up his sky with enkindled beacons of vivid luminosity, which shone from gaping holes in my flesh, like torch lights twizzled into my skull, to shine like crazy electric diamonds, or glow in the dark stars stuck on the glass ceiling of a sick sad world which is dampened by conventional, corruptive, complacent, contented common-placeness. At the meeting of our gazes our souls jolted and fused infinitely, into spirals of silky sinfulness which sheathed our intestines in spiral-like, strangling attempts to reach the sun-like, sizzling center of everything. The tightest knot choked and gagged my tender heart, and shrouded my open veined, hemorrhage heart. Like an ill acquainted heroin junkie I opened my seeping gashed gates and balled my fists in his knotted mane, as he injected his venomous electricity into me. My shimmering heart palpitated in its glittery, viscera web which weaved salvation shields across my open wounds. 

His face came to meet mine with a brush of his hand, which encompassed my face and cradled my cheek, blood gathered under my skin, and made my cheek bones look battered, as they were veiled in rosiness, as I leant into his grasp, and let his silken lips land and smudge bashfully in a vertical lipstick line across mine. A serpent feathered a sinful path into my open mouth and I felt the clasp of his fingers threaded around the crest of my skull, cradling me as he pushed his passions into me, throat first. I drooled from the teasing tang of his salty mouth, and then a great thirst clawed at the bottom of my inner well, and finger-nailed it's frenzied scaling of my throat. My mouth frothed as I ran my drooling lips under the cliffs of his chin, and down the slippery slope of his neckline effeminately. My woman wolf growls hungrily, as I slipped down his masculine lion-like chest and found my dainty floret face at the mouth of his wildwood. I felt the pang of my heart as my tongue trails sheepishly down in a lovesick spiral to the unknown promised land. His hand finds my hair instinctively, to lace his fingers 
in knotted ringlets around something tangible-my body. My tongue orbits the equator of his halo of manhood,licking feverishlylike a bracelet around his zodiac crown. I savor his sweet spot and feel the hopelessly dominant tug and pull of my man, 
silently begging me to relent and let him relish the sensation, but my hungry hearted, messy head ceaselessly engulfs his syrupy skin, until there is none left to be had. A surge of cascading saltiness fills my warm mouth, he cries, I cough- I open my eyes with a jolt. I am faced with a glass of sparkling gold in a plastic pail, I gulped it down with the unforgettable tangy taste lurking in the corners of my lips and underneath my tongue, his love stained my bleeding gums. I lock the tray table in front of me for landing. I'm not in Kansas anymore - I swallow and prepare for landing.

 

 

 
My plane is late and he rings on queue, wary. I wait for what seems like decades and am finally seated in a taxi where I am confronted by the icy glare of the ticking time bomb clock, which declares the passing minutes and brewing bucks,glowing neon red on the meter above, as we wait in a grid lock. I am cold when I finally arrive, he doesn't help me with my bags and I stumble up struggle street to the elevator. He questions me for my lack of affection upon arrival, as if it was a possibility that I could forget so soon that he had forsaken me before I went into the air-potentially to explore into a million mingled plane parts and passenger pieces. The shrinking of everything beneath my synthetic wings froze my feelings in time. Perhaps he had no knowledge of the glistening aqua beads that shed from my eyes, for they had seen too much inhuman wickedness that it bled it's beaded oceans in currents which scattered across the plane passage like an infectious plague, metamorphous of the blue bottle whom ooze it's gunky tentacles across the carpet and nearby ankles of unsuspecting passengers,once again bleedingblue wretchedness all over the metropolitan floor. But he should have known. The air around us freezes and falls in snowflakes onto my fragile shell and makes me shudder in his presence. I can hear the sound of my heart beating in lead up to the resounding bing that announces our arrival to our apartment level. The hotel is beautiful, he endeavors to make small talk about the aesthetic of the apartment which I paid an arm and a leg for, I contributed little. 

 

The evening was hellish, I can't even recall how it began, but we soon embarked on a 4 hour marathon of chain smoking, swearing at each other, screaming, telling one another to stop screaming, swearing and talking all together. I found restless comfort in multiple cold spaces within that hotel room, beneath the bar bench, on top of the desk, the bathroom floor. We argued insatiably and he contemplated the very fiber of our being, to such an extent that we are both internally altered, irrevocably. Awful words were spilt like booze in the sheets, and ached into crevasse and window sills with our cigarette butts. Threats were thrown around like bottle caps and bodies off beds. So many tears were shed and illuminated the sheets in speckle like constellations like sprayed glow sticks. He begged me to let him sleep, as he always does and I always fight like a stubborn child struggling the sedation and refusing to be comforted by the lurking numbness of my savage subconscious. I never let myself rest, I always fight so god damn hard against the night. 


Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light - (Dylan Thomas)

 

My memory is fuzzy and glazed over with nostalgia, and the instinct to conceal all that is evil beneath the carpet, to eventually seep through Mediterranean scallops of color, when it comes to remembering how we came to press our own cold skin against one another in hope that if we forced our mortal shells hard enough against one another, we could become immortality infinite together, we could be one. Eventually our bodies found one another and melted into the grind of feeling whole. I howled into the night as he held down my head with his hand and thrust his savage wilderness into his lioness. We moved together for what seemed like a lifetime, immeasurable by human means, the sheets around us became wet with blood sweat and tears. A kindling goldness coiled within me, and ribboned out of my core and strapped it's shimmering snake skin around my wrists and ankles in the name of him. When it was over it was clear that it wasn't over. Whatever sadistic magnetism and kindred spirit connection we shared was raw and earth shattering and we needed to keep it within our sickly possession for only we could unleash the divination unto the ever suspicious, superstitious and yet somehow ever unsuspecting world. Oh the ephemeralness of it all. We had to hold onto this while the garden of even was still ignited. That was when heaven began. Heaven with my gutter youth', dart smokin', heart breakin', neck breakin', cheque cashin' million dollar baby.

 

We spent the next 48 hours in the blissful, childishly and yet savagely erotic land of milk and honey. Splashing and suckling opaque milky-ness from each other's seeping skin, and spitting into each other's mouths and over the other's remaining respectability in a ferocious, uncivilized, unmerciful animal-like collision, melting like honey, fusing our spinous spleens. Two souls smashing together like rocks, which grind and gnaw at each other's rough surfaces with an insatiable appetite for consumption- greedily gulping down the crumbling remains to quench the famish within our fractured marrow, to fill the hollows within me, the hollows within him. Swallowing and savoring the sticky, sweet remnants, that ooze gleaming lustrous quintessence on the chapel floors, within my reverberating cathedral heart, in the name of love.  Stashing pocketful's of his lethal liquid love in the pits of me, to milk the breath of life a little longer. We clover in velvet on an easeful aero plane ride and descend from the fairy floss wild blue yonder, the volt of heaven implodes, showering our wings in soberness. The gates slam shut as the great heaving, machine dove of love, skates featherless along the tarmac, out for blood. We peel our planed bodies up swift like a Band-Aid from where God spat us out like sinners on the pavement. We stand up in shameful triumph on earth.

 

-Sasha Baldwin here